Posted on

My Journey Behind Bars (Pt. 1)

Pelipost is launching a new series devoted to the stories of those incarcerated. In honor of that, we begin this series by sharing the story of Tyrone Toliver and his journey behind bars.

“On my first day in prison, in 1995, I was fighting a mental and emotional battle…“

Written By: Tyrone Toliver

So many find it hard to show love, compassion, and support for a man or a woman who is incarcerated. This is especially true of family, who often say one of the following things, to themselves or to their incarcerated family member:

  1. You weren’t raised to break the law or hang around anyone who is a criminal.
  2. I do not have enough time to spend it on a person who is incarcerated.
  3. You broke the law, you do your time. You did not want to be out here with us; if you had, you would not have committed the crime or put yourself in the predicament that got you there in the first place.

What family members who say these things do not see is the underlying fact that no matter what, the person who is incarcerated is still family. 

In my situation, I was taught how to commit crimes and do drugs by my own family. Gang-banging allowed me to make a name for myself, while providing security and protection for them. 

But as my journey behind bars began at age 10, I realized that my family did not appreciate my sacrifices. I believed that because writing letters to me, accepting my collect phone calls, and sending me a money order once a month was too much for them to do. So, as a juvenile delinquent, I carried hatred, anger, and animosity inside me—not for my enemies or for authority, but for my very own family. 

This hatred was something I had never talked to anyone about. As a result, I entered prison in Tracy, California (AKA “gladiator school”) at 18 years old (1995) and all I wanted to do was hurt someone else. 

My journey behind bars continued at 16 years old. My family thought that I would do all that I possibly could to come home. To this very day, I don’t know where they could have gotten such a ludicrous idea. (As a mature, rehabilitated man today, I’m afraid to ask them.)

You see, they never gave me a reason to seek recovery, rehabilitation or help change my way of thinking through education. Speed up to 2012, and for the first time in my life, I heard about coping skills, toxic environments, arrested development, self-help, and cultural conditioning. These are phrases that I had never heard before! I soon learned that they meant changing and improving yourself. There was no way for anyone in my family to think that I’d do anything to come home soon after learning any of that. It’s 2020, and they are still doing the same things I was taught in 1981 at 5 years old.

On my first day in prison, in 1995, I was fighting a mental and emotional battle. I thought I could only win if I hurt myself or someone else. First, I hurt myself and that didn’t work. Then, I hurt someone else and that didn’t heal me either. Once the smoke cleared, I was being transferred to Pelican Bay State Prison, California, for assault with a deadly weapon. I had become the animal everyone said I was. I was no longer Tyrone Lee Toliver. I had become Inmate Toliver #H93393 AKA Lil No-Name Dog at the worst prison in California. I lived off other weak and afraid inmates because I received no visits, no letters, and no phone calls. I actually thought and felt that I had nothing to live for, so I was merely existing to die.

“I was back in the same building at Pelican Bay and forcing a guy to give me back my old cell. Things felt normal.”

Then, I was thrown a curve ball. I won my court battle for assault on an inmate with a weapon. I would be paroling in a month. How? I wondered. I thought it was a joke until I remembered that I didn’t actually have a life sentence; it just felt like it. My original sentence was 5 years. Now, I was even more angry and I didn’t even know why. As I left in September 1996, I told them to keep my bed warm.

A few months later, December 1996, I was back. By the following September, I was in the same building at Pelican Bay and forcing a guy to give me back my old cell. Things felt normal. I felt loved, supported, peaceful, and slightly happy. By now, I was better at hiding my animosity, hatred, and anger…

Ready for Part 2 of Tyrone Toliver’s Journey Behind Bars? Click here.

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

The Benefits of Staying Connected with Incarcerated Loved Ones

In leading up to Love Your Inmate Day, August 8th, 2020, we’re sharing the benefits of staying connected with incarcerated loved ones and highlighting one man’s journey.

Take a moment to think about the domino effect that occurs when someone goes to prison. It impacts, not only the incarcerated, but his/her family, community, co-workers, and others.

For the incarcerated, emotions can range from fear to anger to high levels of anxiety in anticipation of the unknown. These emotions often stay bottled up looking for any possible escape. Similarly, loved ones experience so many emotions as they adapt to their new situations without their loved ones.

For these reasons, you can see how critical it is for those incarcerated and loved ones to stay connected. They need to have an outlet to share these pent up emotions. It goes without saying, that given the limited interaction in prison, staying connected with loved ones has numerous benefits for those incarcerated. We would like to highlight some in particular…

  • Staying connected can prevent institutionalization by reminding loved ones of the freedoms that exist, giving them much needed hope, inspiration, and validation.
  • Two-way communication provides families and friends with the insight and opportunity to understand what their loved one is going through, leading to more thoughtful conversations.
  • Better connectivity means those incarcerated have a better chance of successfully integrating back into their family and community upon release.
  • The memories that are missed by those incarcerated often serve as powerful reminders and mental motivation, so they are less likely to be a repeat offender.
  • Most importantly, staying connected makes those incarcerated feel human, cared about, and heard.

Over the next few days, we’ll be sharing the journey and story of Tyrone Toliver, an inmate at Ironwood State Prison (CA). His life of self-proclaimed gang-banging changed when he found his outlet to connect with others. Tyrone is now able to talk about the topics that he was too scared to talk about when he was first incarcerated.

Read Part 1 of Tyrone’s story now – ‘My Journey Behind Bars’

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

Pelipost Donating 2,000 Masks

Pelipost is more than an app devoted to printing pictures for your incarcerated loved ones. We are always working to make it easier to stay connected and also to make a difference in the lives of those affected by incarceration. That’s why Pelipost is donating 2,000 masks!

The Pelipost Team packing 2000 masks.
The Pelipost Team packing 2000 masks.

Prisons and jails are being hit hard by the coronavirus because of how difficult it is to accomplish social distancing inside correctional facilities. Concerns have been circulating not just among those who are incarcerated, but also among those who work there. Cook County Jail is one of many facilities that has been hit hard by this pandemic. Pelipost has taken action to help.

Joseph Calderon (Pelipost CEO) packing masks.

Pelipost is donating 2,000 masks to the inmates and staff of Cook County Jail to help contain the spread. The masks were officially shipped on Friday, May 15.

Here at Pelipost, we are committed to doing our part in order to keep inmates and correctional staff safe during this pandemic. We are happy to be able to take part in slowing the spread of COVID-19. We’re all in this together!

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

Helping Children with Incarcerated Parents

The Pelipost Team had a busy holiday season from our Giving Tuesday campaign to sponsoring the XO Factor, Inc. Adopt-A-Family event. Pelipost is proud to give back to multiple organizations who help families impacted by incarceration.

Did you know….

1-in-28 American children have an incarcerated parent.

Making a Difference

Bethany McNeil is the founder of XO Factor, Inc., a non-profit organization with a mission to assist men, women, children, and families in rebuilding their lives after incarceration. With that being said, they are able to provide returning citizens with the services, support, and skills needed to become employed and self-sufficient.

Our CEO, Joseph Calderon, at the XO Factor, Inc. Adopt-A-Family Event.

Adopt-A-Family Event

Pelipost was a proud sponsor of the XO Factor, Inc. Adopt-A-Family event which provides children with gifts from their incarcerated parents. The Pelipost Team attended the event on December 16, 2019 to wrap gifts that would ultimately be delivered to children during the holidays.

Sponsors of the Adopt-A-Family Event.
The Pelipost Team wrapping gifts at the Adopt-A-Family Event.

Our CEO, Joseph Calderon, and our COO, Becky Calderon, shared their personal story with incarceration and how it effects all parties involved. They also brought awareness to the importance of staying connected to your incarcerated loved ones. Photos are a great way to share life’s special moments.

It brought great joy to our hearts to connect with families who have used XO Factor as a resource to better their lives upon release. Listening to the speakers share their experiences with recidivism and how they’ve made a point to give back to the community was amazing. We left the event truly inspired and ready to make an even bigger difference in 2020. Thank you XO Factor for all your great work in our community!

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

The Bigger Picture: Validation

Pelipost is more than an app devoted to printing pictures for your incarcerated loved ones. We believe in the importance of family reintegration far exceeds the physical product in hand. REMAINING CONNECTED is the BIGGER PICTURE. 

In this two-part blog series we sat down with our very own co-founder, Becky Calderon, to explore the significant importance PRINTED photos had while incarcerated. 

“You feel like a failure at the time, you know your story has more to offer. You have to constantly remind yourself that prison doesn’t define my worth.”

– Becky Calderon

LIVING FOR PRISON MAIL CALL

When you’re in prison, all you have is time. You almost forget that life exists. You block it all out. You see the fences, you see the walls. You cope as best you can. With that said, there was one thing that kept us all rooted in hope for the future. MAIL CALL. We would LIVE FOR MAIL CALL. This is how we remained connected and informed with the world outside of our cell. We were all in prison for different reasons but unified by this longing to know we were more than our worst mistakes.

Letters were cherished but to receive an envelope with photos was the ultimate prize. Even just feeling the outside ridges of the envelope and knowing there was photos inside brought so much emotion… It’s hard to describe in words. I guess you could say, there was an unspoken understanding in there. We all simply longed for VALIDATION. Printed photos allowed our stories outside to come to life. We shared them, we celebrated, we mourned, we anticipated them with great excitement. It reminded us we are more than our current situation. We once had lives, passions, families, relationships, hobbies, skills, interests, stories that defined us outside of the prison walls. We are missed and treasured by others awaiting our release. 

CELEBRATING IN PRISON 

I shared a cell with 8 women, lovingly referred to as ‘cellies’. We each had different stories and reasons for their incarceration. Since we were in a maximum security facility… some stories were harder than others. One was an older woman. Her daughter had just given birth to her first grandchild. She was elated with the news and would beg for pictures of the new baby she would meet in the years to come. The new mom was so busy readjusting and overwhelmed with this new life that it took her so long to finally find the time to send her mom photos. When that day came…. We CELEBRATED alongside our cellie with great pride! It was as if the child’s arrival had just happened all over again for the first time.

MOURNING IN PRISON 

There was also a younger woman who had about 7 years remaining on her sentence. Her mother would come often and visit with her in the beginning of her sentence. She was older and unfortunately suffered a heart-related issue and wasn’t able to travel easily after that. This cellie LIVED for her mother’s visits. Once the mother’s visits stopped you can imagine how heartbreaking it was to her spirit. She would plead with her siblings… ‘send me pictures of MOM… I just want to see her face and know she’s alright’. I remember thinking ‘send this girl photos of her mother, she may not be alive when she gets out of here’. I hurt so badly for her. As a mother, I was fighting cancer inside the prison walls and understood the fear of leaving my son in an immediate way. 

VALUE YOUR INCARCERATED LOVED ONES

If you want your incarcerated loved ones to fight the staggering statistics of recidivism… INCLUDE THEM IN THEIR STORIES. VALIDATE their worth (outside of their poor choices). There was a cellie who had three children and five years remaining on her sentence. The problem was she kept getting into more and more trouble inside. I kept thinking ‘Don’t you even want to get out for your children?’ To be fair, she was never in her children’s lives to begin with… I used to pray that her family would include her in those kids lives and send her photos of them growing up. If only she communicated with them a little more often, I wonder if that wouldn’t have given her greater  purpose and hope for reconciling those relationships. 

PRINTED  PHOTOS GIVE HOPE

Sometimes customers assume we are disconnected from their stories and the struggles they face. I make sure to remind them of my own story and extend grace and understanding because incarceration is just so painful on so many levels. We care because WE KNOW HOW VITAL PHOTOS ARE in there! I want to bring that joy and validation because I felt that joy firsthand. When I finally got the picture of Joseph and that DAMN CAR (his first new car)… I was so happy! It plays such a huge part of our story. Little did we know at the time how incredible that printed photo would be to the future. Because of that photo, because of our separation, because of my worst mistakes… We now have this beautiful service impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of families with incarcerated loved ones across the United States. 

That being said, the impact is tangible and it feels so good. We have customers that have sent over 70 orders during these past three years. To read their notes… ‘Thank you so much for your service. He’s out. We’re not going to need you anymore.’ This is why we do what we do with such pride and dedication to our customers. We see how powerfully important our service is to the future reintegration process of their loved ones.

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos this holiday season! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

Pelipost Gives Back Follow-Up

Pelipost Gives Back Winners

Following last week’s blog post, we have some exciting news! We asked for your favorite charity nominations and you delivered BIG!

Last week, we began our first giving initiative. As a result, we received over 60 charity nominations. In order to qualify, the charities nominated had to be actively involved in serving incarcerated persons and their families. We are excited to announce the 3 winning charities below! Pelipost will be making a $500 donation along with (25) Love Never Gives Up Bracelets to each of the winning charities listed below. Additionally, we will be donating a portion of sales from December 3 – Giving Tuesday.

Charity Winners

Prisoner’s Family Conference – The Prisoner’s Family Conference’s goal is to strengthen the entire prison family and promote successful reentry and reunification, reducing the rate of recidivism by providing critical connections, information and resources for families and secular and faith based organizations serving prisoners and their families.

“I have attended the past 4 Conferences. This Conference represents one of the rare opportunities for many of us to experience love and support even with a criminal past. We learn here that each of us has worth and the capacity to build a better life. We can become contributors to our community through sharing our stories and living a life we can each be proud of. In addition, our Conference highlights problems in our criminal justice system and in reentry which our Conferences speaks out and pushes for change and acceptance.”

Strong Prison Wives and Families – Strong Prison Wives & Families seek to enhance the lives of inmate supporters. They offer a variety of programs designed to provide empowerment, education & support; qualities essential to breaking the cycle of recidivism.

“This group has helped me feel loved and supported from day one being with a man who is incarcerated. They offer help understanding the system, how to handle losing a loved one to the system, and how to self care. This group has been a shoulder to cry on and a group to share laughs all the way to fighting the stigma of loving someone inside.”

Arouet Foundation – Arouet has helped women tap into their own strengths, identify viable career paths, and establish stable, self-sufficient lives outside of prison. They’ve been serving incarcerated women for over 7 years with pre and post release programs. Most importantly, Arouet offers educational and employment supports, mentoring, wellness and behavioral health, life skills development, and advocacy.

“It was the most amazing opportunity and experience I’ve ever had in my life and I did all of that behind bars. I got out with over $10,000 to start my life over with. This Foundation gives these women hope.”

With that said, we are so grateful for your support and participation. You’ve made our first Giving Tuesday campaign a success! More information about ways to connect and get involved with the charities will be provided in the near future.

Finally, don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos this holiday season! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Posted on

Pelipost Gives Back

Happy Holidays, Pelipost Friends!

We’re working hard behind the scenes preparing for all of your upcoming photo orders. Be sure to upload your photos quickly so they will arrive in time for the holidays. You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store. With that said, in the spirit of the giving season, we have some BIG NEWS! We’re excited to announce the Pelipost Gives Back efforts that we’ll be organizing for this Giving Tuesday!

Pelipost Gives Back

Pelipost will donate $500 to (3) charitable organizations and each will receive (25) Love Never Gives Up bracelets from our Love Your Inmate Day Collection. These organizations will be nominated by YOU and MUST serve families of incarcerated loved ones. In addition to our $500 donations, Pelipost will be donating a portion of sales from every photo order placed on GIVING TUESDAY (December 3).

We need your help!

We’re depending on YOU to help us find these charitable organizations. Please take a moment to NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE CHARITY in the form below. We’ll be announcing the 3 winning charities on Giving Tuesday, December 3rd.

Fill out my online form.

Don’t forget to send your incarcerated loved ones photos this holiday season! You can download the Pelipost app through the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.